The long weekend I spent with my daughter and my husband at my father’s place brought joy. After almost a year of being non-existent to one another, my sister and me found each other’s presence bearable again. The pain is almost gone now and I can easily deal with my frustrations towards what caused our great feud months ago. It is rather true that we can forgive but could never easily forget. I miss her, I knew it all along but my pride ate the whole missing part. When I saw her, I found it right through again- and I am contented. I never expected everything to be the same, expectation was what brought us all in pain- it was neither good nor bad as that experience taught us the great lesson of Family love.
Family love unlike other forms of love is not just immeasurable and timeless-it is constant. It is a prison wall, but of course that if you are a pessimist one. You can choose who you will end up with but like love you cannot choose your family, holds true when you are all bound by likeness in blood and DNA. Every time I go home to my father’s I feel excited and scared at once, excited to see my little brothers, my nieces and nephews and scared to see my father! That did not come out right! I am always happy to see my father but whenever he talks of family matters and all things that circles around problems and money or both, we all end up arguing. Which is sometimes my sister do not like talking about it so much especially when we are at the dining table.
Family love is when I see my brother after long months of being away from each other with his very noisy and rowdy kids-and all I see is my only buddy in high school who is always witty and jolly. I have never met anyone who cooks good food better than my brother and I think that is the sole reason I find it hard to appreciate restaurant food everywhere-I have tasted better versions of those expect for exotic types or other foreign tastes I guess. The three of us, laughing again together, joking around each other-is a wonderful sight and a perfect memory to hold on to till we see each other again. I can say my father did a great job of holding us all accountable of our own lives because wherever we go and whatever we become we always go back to what we were before everything else changed.
Family love is having a father who has a clamorous laugh and sometimes obnoxious principles. Who works very hard and plays even harder! Who rocks and roll, plays guitars, drums and sings. Who knows almost everything about cars, and farming and playing life rough. A father who attracts women with his wit and great sense of humor-that always gets him to trouble with our stepmom. Our father cannot live without someone to help him, I think it is how men operates-they barely can survive without a woman. When he decided to remarry years after my mother died, I got a confirmation that he was having a difficulty raising teenagers. My father did not have any idea how intelligent he is, he is also battling up to this day what normal people fight against with-insecurities, worries, pride, fear, greed amongst the few. He had a rougher childhood than us, and yet he helped the three of us get a College degree and do what we want to do.
Family love is having a stepmother who chooses to be with our father despite the fact that he has 3 grown up kids. It was not an easy feat for her and our 2 half brothers. They too are battling with society’s tendency to compare siblings. My little brothers do not resemble us in any way. We got our looks from our mom, all 3 of us, while they got their looks from our father. And just because my sister and brother are academically intelligent our neighbors expected that they also belong to the honor students. They are way beyond intelligent, they are talented and they belong to the same blood.
Family love is having a cousin who do not know what she wants but knows how to love deeply. A cousin who is more than just a sister I say, who will always be there no matter what.
Parents cannot choose their children, they have one or two or even more, raise them, love them and make them useful part of the society. Children cannot choose their parents, they only have two, grow up under their care, love them and make them proud.
Family is a gift, sometimes we hate them but most of the time we love them. We love them too much!
But it is always the right kind of love.