I did not really understand this phrase at first, and its meaning is still unclear to my senses as it should be and I kind of accepted that I am still oblivious of the corporate world. My work, I do it because inside me is a fulfillment and that my day passed by doing something worthwhile. I suck in relationships, I am a mediocre mother and an inconsistent wife, my friends see me now and tomorrow I do not communicate. There’s a lot going on inside me and I do it and I feel it because I think too hard and too long.
I am not intelligent either so I process things longer than others but my work is my passion.
I am elated when there is a need for me to fix things, I savor the moment when I need to analyze because at last there is a need for me to think of important things rather than daydream of superficial circumstance such as my being different from my siblings-which always leads me to thinking I was adopted too. Stupid thoughts like that, just because I heard it from somebody else, maybe it applies to me too. Crazy thoughts.
I am a nobody and I still think of it that way. i hate hydrocephalitic wannabes and corporate bullshit. I do not build alliances and I am no good with “Tupperware” business. I do not have the right thickness of a face that could launch a thousand smiles when all I wanted to do was scream at that person. I have not gotten to that point.
But how do you manage to get along and be calm in between people rummaging for power and control? it ain’t easy and working in a place where you cannot trust who.
I do not mind. They are just not worth the emotions. These people build toxins inside the body. I should get rid of them.